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RE/Search #4/5 paperback excerpt: Throbbing Gristle

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RE/Search: What was your most horrifying experience?

Genesis P-Orridge: Most horrifying (laughs). Do you mean what’s my biggest fear? [long pause] Being betrayed, which leads to the fear of being betrayed again. And the feeling of not being able to trust people when you want to.

R/S: What was your funniest?

Genesis and Paula P-Orridge at Spahn RanchGPO: (musingly) Fun-ni-est. I don’t know, I don’t remember funny things much. They’re kind of very transient; they’re funny at the time and then you forget them…Well, I do. Don’t know…I’m not that bothered about things being funny. It’s nice when they are, but it doesn’t worry me much. So I guess that’s why I don’t really remember them so well.

R/S: What was most shocking?

GPO: (long pause) I don’t know. I expect the worst of people, so it’s very hard to be shocked. Don’t know. I’m sometimes surprised at how banal people are, or how stupid people are. But ‘shocked’ is a very extreme feeling, isn’t it? I don’t know. It implies so much importance to something, and I don’t think I give anything quite that importance, nothing individually. I’m shocked, I suppose, by the fact that I’m even alive. I mean, I find the whole idea of being alive and that you’re going to be alive for so long and then you’re going to get older and die–that’s just really impossible to understand or grasp…very strange. Every day I think about that. How weird it is thinking, I’m going to die, I want to exist…I actually died twice!

R/S: Twice? Came back twice?

GPO: Some people wish I hadn’t, I think! I’ve stopped dying. Next time, I reckon, will be the real one. Third time, I’m lucky…

R/S: What happened?

GPO: While I was dead, you mean? Nothing at all. I remember hearing a doctor say: He’s already had it, there’s no chance. Or something like that.

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