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See also: Pranks! TV Video |
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Excerpt from interview with Al Jourgensen & Jello Biafra From Pranks! 2 |
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JELLO BIAFRA: You must tell us about the Steven Spielberg prank-- AL JOURGENSEN: Ministry was in Spielbergıs Artificial Intelligence movie. He had never worked with a rock band before and he was really freaked out. We were there for two days and he wouldnıt even come near us. VALE: I think it was because of the way the band looks-- AJ: Finally, Spielbergıs handlers set up a meeting. We had to line up, all of us in a row singlefile, like we were meeting the fuckinı Queen! Spielberg came down greeting everyone and shaking hands, 'Good to have you here . . .' They put me down at the end of the line, like they were hoping I might give up and walk away or something. Finally he gets down to me and I snarl [nasal voice], 'Hey! Steven, David, look! The bandıs gotta quit. We canıt do this film. All of us are walkinı out right now!' Heıs like [gasps], 'What?! Why?' And all his handlers are scribbling down notes anı shit ... I said, 'We were told A.I. was a porno film that stood for 'Anal Intruder,' and what is all this shit? We were told it was a porno film, and fuck you!' (In the film, there were a bunch of teddy bears runninı around; like, what is this crap?) And they all went running . . . Spielberg immediately grabbed his heart and ran, with all his other people-- JB: He was looking for somebody to yell at and fire, right? AJ: So when he ran off, I had to go after him and I was in my full dress costume where I had on all my metal; I couldnıt even run. I yelled, 'Hey, I was just kidding!' [laughs] So every day after that, at the beginning of the day Spielberg would come up to me with a new 'porno' title for A.I., like: 'Ass Intruder,' 'Animal Instinct' . . . And then he started wearing my hat and jamming with us onstage. So we ended up getting along great! JB: You gotta tell the Seymour Stein prank; itıs one of my favorites-- AJ: Seymour Stein was the head of Sire Records. He gave Ministry a lot of money to make a recording, and then we didnıt do anything for awhile. Finally he wanted to hear something-- JB: Al was working with Adrian Sherwood at Southern Studios, trying to absorb Adrianıs studio skills and applying them-- AJ: Somebody called and said, 'Seymourıs on his way. He wants to hear something.' He had just gone to rural English rehab for cocaine addiction, and had gotten out and headed straight to our studio. We were like, 'Fuck!' Adrian and I turned to each other and said, 'Are you thinking what Iım thinking?' So we put up a big Nazi flag outside the studio, just hanging there--like hanging an American flag in your front yard. So when Seymour got out of his car, he knew he was in hostile territory. He walks through that and comes in. Now me and Adrian and had been up for three days snorting straight speed--Wilko Johnson used to make us our speed, and thatıs why they call him 'Dr Feelgood.' We knew that Seymour might show up, so we had recorded a special tape for him of us thumping the microphone with our thumbs, me yelling into it and mixing in all this metal machine feedback--the whole deal--and twelve minutes of that. The whole thing had been sampled into a Fairlight synthesizer--thatıs what saved us--and we had quickly made a crude mix recording. Seymour had been expecting a commercial dance music recording. So we turned on the amp and went, 'Here, Seymour--bam bam bam bam!' [while Al does a series of hoarse screeches]. Adrian went [British accent], 'This is a major trend in the clubs, yıknow!' Adrian was so high that for some reason he thought Seymourıs name was 'Marshall.' So when Seymour went into the 'speed bathroom,' Adrian was following him, shouting [U.K. accent], 'Marshall. Marshall. I need to get paid in cash, now. This is the new single!' Seymour went right back to rehab and didnıt come out for three months. He never spoke to me again . . . That became Howieıs job. JB: Didnıt you once aim a bazooka at a Warners executiveıs car in the parking lot while he was standing at the window, watching? What prompted you to do this? What was his name? AJ: [laughs] John Bugue. Nakano, a big video director from Japan, wanted to do our 'Cracking Up' video. He had turned down Madonna, he had turned down a bunch of people; he said, 'No. I only want to work with Ministry.' The day we were supposed to start filming, Warner Video cut off our funding (this was after Nakano had flown all the way over here). They were mad because he wouldnıt do Madonna. So I bought a bazooka off a friend of mine, aimed it at the head of Warner Videoıs car in the parking lot, and then security suddenly appeared and took away my bazooka. I was mad, so I went up and took a shit on John Bugueıs desk--the head of Warner Video. Well, the next day we got our budget back! JB: The reason 'rock star' behavior has turned into what it is, is because major labels deserve it. Their attitude is, 'Once you sign on the dotted line with them, you cease to be an artistı and from that point on, you are their employee. You are employed for them to strip-mine your talent so they can sell it to mall kids (and others) and forget to pay you when the time comes-- AJ: And they forget that we can make their life a living hell! I know I have... |
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Other excerpts from Pranks! 2: |
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